2010-01-30 Twelve Simple Ways to Fight This Climate Change
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Twelve Simple Ways to Fight This Climate Change
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In early January the Great Freeze of 2010 descended upon the land. At its worst, Floridians were moving to the warmer climes of Greenland, Midwesterners were spelling out SOS with in the snow, and migratory birds were getting the flock back north. And now, another mighty winter storm crawls across the land.
Americans, understanding that nothing in the climate happens without our causation, are looking Washington, D.C. for how our political leaders will change the weather. The peril to the climate has gotten so drastic that even Osama bin Laden is pleading for the Great Satan to do something.
While we wait for Uncle Sam to take action — because after all, there's no question the global mean temperature is the province of the political class — that doesn't mean we can't do our part. Everyone knows that warming the planet requires people consuming energy, driving gas guzzlers and emitting greenhouse gases. There still are small, costly steps that we can take against this cold snap that can really make a difference:
Suggestions listed are all along the lines of using more energy so that there will be more anthropogenic global warming:
- Deflate your tires (a jab at Obama's suggestion that keeping tires properly inflated would save more oil than we would get by drilling domestically)
- Buy incandescent light bulbs
- Ask for plastic, not paper, and make multiple unnecessary trips to the grocery store to buy just one or two items at a time.
- Use lots of hot water. Take long showers, leave the water running...
- Leave all the lights on and make sure all doors and windows are improperly insulated.
- Stop walking, jogging, or biking to work; drive your car.
- Don't carpool. Selfish people team up to take advantage of HOV lanes while you idle in a traffic jam... ("Midas Plague", anyone?)
- Get your veggies shipped in from all over world by huge conglomerates at a great expense of energy, not from those callous local "organic" farmers who only care about making a buck.
- Eat more red meat and wear more leather.
- Get rid of your hybrid and buy yourself a big, obnoxious Hummer.
- Support red energy and oppose nuclear power.
- Buy carbon-hoarding permits.
Commentary:
[edit] shorter text
“While we wait for Uncle Sam to take action — because after all, there's no question the global mean temperature is the province of the political class — that doesn't mean we can't do our part. ... There still are small, costly steps that we can take against this cold snap that can really make a difference:”

