User:Woozle/LwaC/2014-10-22

private post -- I don't usually do this...

I'm trying to figure out how to deal fairly and reasonably with a situation that has arisen out of my #lunchWithAConservative posts. The conservative in question has apparently discovered the posts, recognized himself in them, and is (I guess predictably) not happy.

I should probably reveal at this point that he is, in fact, my father. This is not public knowledge; I've never referred to him by name or relationship (at least, not in the context of LWaC), only that he is "a relative" and only when the subject came up in the comments, on maybe one or two occasions.

I'll paste our brief email exchange here, and then summarize it below -- feel free to skip the source text if you want to cut to the chase.

<paste from=him>

W: I just made the mistake of looking at G+ and I see that you express your reactions to our lunch conversations there rather than face to face. That's a bit sneaky, don't you think? You don't count the revolving-door financial people appointed by Obama (Geithner, et al.) as evidence of their collaboration with Wall St.?

I must say I was pretty upset by the G+ page....

D

</paste>

<paste from=me>

I'm sorry I upset you; it truly was not intentional. I was primarily venting, and as we had an agreement to avoid political discussions over lunch, I've been making a conscious effort to steer the conversation away from things that I find upsetting.

I tried to remember all the points that you brought up, but couldn't remember that specific one -- which actually is valid as far as it goes but does not refute the main point I was griping about in the post, i.e. the claim that the Ds are just as bad as the Rs (or is that not what you were claiming?). I've acknowledged that the Ds are corrupt too, but the Rs are insane on a much deeper level.

W.

</paste>

<paste from=him>

W: Apology accepted. But please get that stuff off the site.

If you want to vent about something I said, do so to me...I can take it! And for goodness sake don't get upset -- we just see some things differently, so what? What's to get upset over? What are the facts? What do we know? What can't we know so must agree to differ about?

As for lunch, we seem to get into political discussions because there seem to be few other things to talk about. I am interested in what you are up to, but I don't think the reverse is true. Are the Dems and Reps. equivalent? Well, they are not the same in terms of rhetoric; we can agree on that. They are similar in terms of the revolving door Rubin/Geithner/Lew that head up the financial system Rs a bit worse). Bernanke was an academic who served in both administrations. They are much the same in their actions: D's gave us the bailout which saved the banks but not the homeowners. R's allowed the conditions that made the bailouts necessary. Above all, look at where the funding comes from. King Barry has been fundraising 50 or more times this year. And not from poor folks -- check out this from a left-wing newspaper: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/12/obama-wealthy-donors-fundraising-drive-democrats Do you really think the Ds are better than the Rs in this respect?

But on the personal thing. We don't really connect. You don't seem to trust me -- or something. Are you afraid of me, or what? What is it? What's the problem? I'd really like to know.

D

</paste>

Summary: He found the post upsetting, calling it "sneaky" and citing the fact that I had omitted one of his arguments. I apologized, explaining that I often needed to vent after our political discussions (that he inevitably starts, although I didn't say this), and since we had already agreed not to have political discussions because they often became heated, I didn't want to vent in front of him during lunch. He accepted my apology, but -- and here's the kicker -- expects me to "get that stuff off the site", by which I presume he means he wants all of the LWaC posts deleted from G+.

Dot dot dot. (There's enough material in there for at least two or three therapy-posts...)

And we've already had the conversation about why I don't trust him... or, at least, I thought we had. At least once or twice. Within the past year or two.

I'm caught between (on the one hand) wanting to take the high road and respond as reasonably and calmly as possible and (on the other) feeling like our relationship has passed beyond any possibility of communication.

The final catch is that for about a year now, he has been providing about 1/4 to 1/3 (depending on how you calculate) of our operating budget here at Hypertwin Manor. Prior to that, we were rapidly losing ground on the credit cards; since then we've been kinda-sorta keeping even, maybe -- so it's more significant than it might seem just from looking at the aggregate numbers.

Aside from being terrified of dealing with him on a relationship level (we used to fight a lot when I was growing up, and... insert long story here), then, I'm also terrified (and have been terrified all along, given that our relationship never was easy) that he will decide to cut me off from that.

I'll probably have more to say about this (in private :-P), but I wanted to hit the high points and keep this post from becoming a tome.

Please feel free to react... I'll just be over there hiding under the table. >.>